Why do you believe men constantly return?

What do you think about the answer I’m about to give you in a second? Now, I hear it all the time, you know, women dealing with men that really don’t belong in their lives, okay. And the man not really trying to let go. And I even have a chapter in my book, “He’s Lying Sis” that says, he won’t let you go, but that doesn’t mean he loves you. So, one, let’s get something straight. The fact that he keeps coming back, do not assume that’s love. In most cases, it ain’t got nothing to do with love, it’s infatuation.

And there are some other reasons I’m going to explain in a second, but I see a lot of times, sometimes women getting caught up or taking men back because they think well, he must love me because he keeps trying so hard. He must love me because every time I let him go, he finds his way back to me, this must be real feelings. No, not at all, it can be attached, it can be infatuation, it can be a convenience, all right. But do not assume that just because he’s not letting you go, that, that means he loves you.

One of the big reasons why he keeps coming back is because he can. Because he knows, you’re going to give in and let him in that door. He knows if he says the right things if he acts right for a week or two or whatever the case may be, it’s going to get you weak enough. And I, and I don’t use the word weak to insult you, but it puts you in a moment of weakness to where you let your guard back down unnecessarily with him and you allow him back into your life. And so, you, you got to be mindful of not falling for the tricks because regardless of why he keeps coming back, the question you have to ask yourself is why do you keep letting him back in? Why do you keep allowing this man to have access to you, if you know he is not for you? It is up to you to shut that door. It is up to you to say no. 

It is up to you to start recognizing his tactics and not allowing yourself to fall for it. Now, let me say this. It does not mean there’s never been a scenario where a man has come back because he genuinely loves the woman. That can happen that does happen. Some men do struggle to let go because there are real feelings there. But again, as a woman, you’ve got to be asking yourself, like, don’t evaluate his actions for a second. Take a step back and say, do you really believe he’s the man for you? Because regardless of whatever his intentions are, whether he genuinely feels like he loves you, whether it is just because you’re convenient, whatever it is, none of it matters, because what matters most is, how do you feel? How do you see this man?

If you’ve already recognized he’s not for you, then to hell with his supposed feelings, you understand what I’m saying? And if you know he’s not the one for you, then yes, chances are he is not acting out of love. He is acting out of the things we mentioned about infatuation, attachment, and so on and so forth. So, many times yes, men will walk away or you’ll let them go and they can start missing you because the reality is that you provided a certain benefit. And they want that benefit again back in their life. And it’s very normal for people to gravitate back to that thing that they were comfortable with. 

That was reliable in their life because they’re not getting it elsewhere right now. So, one of the reasons, another reason why he might be coming back is that he didn’t find another option. And, and that’s damn sure not a reason for you to entertain him, but it is to explain why he continues to show back up. But again, I don’t want you to assume all situation of a man coming back is a man you should not entertain. But I damn sure don’t want you thinking that you should always entertain him.

I want you to be able to take a step back in these situations and really be honest with yourself or more importantly, pray about it. Now, I know you don’t hear that from everybody, but the reality is that we don’t pray and talk to God enough about the people that we’re dealing with or if we should be dealing with somebody. And so, if that man pops back in your life, take a step back and pray, listen to your intuition, listen to your spirit, and allow that to guide you into whether you should be entertaining this or not, whether you should allow yourself to take that phone call. Because sometimes, not only do you need to recognize if he’s not for you or not, but if he’s not, you need to find ways to not allow any crack of the door, all right. 

So, that might require you erasing messages, deleting phone numbers, removing pictures, removing yourself from social media or from being friends with him on social media, if that’s what it takes to make sure you don’t keep falling into this cycle of continuously taking this man back, then so be it, that’s what needs to happen. But again, stop focusing so much on why he keeps coming back? Ask yourself, why do you keep taking him back? Ask yourself, should you be entertaining him? And if you know you shouldn’t, close that door, keep it shut, and move forward.